dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
