And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
