Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
