Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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