yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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