It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
