I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
