i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
