We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
And then he peed in my hair
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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