I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
