3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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