Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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