She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
