He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize