We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you will always have a special place in my vag
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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