you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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