Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
