Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize