Farmville is her only friend.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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