The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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