Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
