Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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