I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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