How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
