wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
