Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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