we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
