Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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