I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
