I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Who died my cat blue again?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
