i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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