Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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