I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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