Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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