He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
