whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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