I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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