listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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