And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
