so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
