At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
