Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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