I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
just found out that she named her cat after me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
