I think I won the penis lottery.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
