I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
