I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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