Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
