apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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