I think I died a long time ago.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
