So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
