I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
