I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
