I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
