I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
