life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I love you.
Bad choice
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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