hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
