when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
